"There is only one thing: Infinity.
You are it
And it is the world."
- Total Awakening Experience : Leo describes an unprecedented total enlightenment event that he had, where his individual boundaries dissolved, and he recognized himself as infinite, embodying all existence. This instigated the collapse of the materialistic understanding and the realization that everything, including his own self, is an incarnation of infinity.
- Conception of Infinity in Enlightenment : During his awakening, Leo experienced the intrinsic nature of reality as infinity itself. He conveys that while everyone is situated at the center of infinity, they only perceive a fragment of its entirety due to their identification with body and mind. He shares that he transcended these limitations, understanding his identity as the 'entire singularity'.
- Perception of Nothingness as Everything : In his state of total awakening, Leo contemplates 'nothingness' prior to the creation of the universe and finds that nothingness is the conception of everything. He suggests that our current existence and reality, including the physical world and every potentiality, is 'precisely nothing', encompassing the concept of infinity.
- Merging with Universal Existence : The awakening led Leo to a consciousness where he ceased to be a separate entity and instead became everything possible, including every human, creature, object, invention, and piece of creative work, existing at present, past, and future simultaneously.
- Transcending Consciousness and Existence : Leo elucidates that during his awakening, his mind expanded infinitely and he no longer experienced consciousness as a separate entity. He reveals that his entire being became infinity itself, which is beyond consciousness, awareness, and even existence or non-existence.
- Enlightenment Beyond Emotion and Thought : As Leo realized the enormity of his awakening, he stresses that it did not trigger emotional reactions. Rather, it was a profound and ultimate revelation of the existence and inevitability of reality, experienced on a radically different plane of consciousness which is not easily comprehensible from normal consciousness.
- Cancellation of Shaktipat Session : Despite his initial enthusiasm for an energy transmission session (Shaktipat) with an enlightened psychic, Leo's intuition guided him to forgo this experience, as he felt compelled to continue his journey alone, specifically to validate the path of enlightenment through 5-MeO-DMT.
- Conflict Between Intuition and Rationalization : Leo grapples with the uncertainty of whether his decision to cancel the energy transmission session was driven by intuitive understanding or his ego, reflecting on concerns of arrogance and spiritual pride.
- Feelings of Impatience and Unfulfillment : After cancelling the session, Leo expresses frustration and impatience about the time it might take to achieve his goal of understanding the nature of reality, which he feels is still beyond his grasp.
- Intuitive Prompting for 5-MeO-DMT Consumption : Despite initial reluctance, Leo's intuition guides him to use 5-MeO-DMT spontaneously—a departure from his usual, more cautious approach to psychedelics.
- Integration and Sensitivity from Past Use of 5-MeO-DMT : Leo explains that a year and a half had passed since his major breakthrough with 5-MeO-DMT, which necessitated a lengthy period of integration and a heightened sensitivity that influenced his decision for a minimal dose.
- New Method of 5-MeO-DMT Administration : His intuition leads him to try rectal administration of 5-MeO-DMT and Leo discovers that it provides a rapid, clear, and gentle onset of effects, which he favors over other methods.
- Transition to Infinite Consciousness : Within five minutes of administration, Leo enters a state of 'infinite consciousness'—a state devoid of fear or distractions and characterized by a collapse of all personal boundaries, leading to a profound awakening.
- The Absolute and the Concept of Infinity : Leo explicates that the relative and the absolute are one and the same, and that every configuration, every object, including the occurrence of death, is an integral arrangement within absolute infinity.
- Enhancements from Yoga Practice : He feels that his ongoing yoga practice, aimed at chakra opening, synergizes with his awakening experience, feeling a 'permanent rewiring' and the opening of his third eye and crown chakras.
- Longer Duration and Gentle Effects of Rectal Administration : The rectal method extends the duration and gentle nature of the 5-MeO-DMT experience, enabling deeper absorption and understanding.
- Post-Experience Changes : Leo claims to have acquired perfect knowledge about reality following his experience, transcending the boundaries of scientific understanding and ending his long-standing quest about the existence of everything.
- End of Seeking and Enhanced Satisfaction : A profound sense of satisfaction and the cessation of his twenty-year journey of seeking are the most substantial changes, reducing personal suffering and ceasing the search for understanding existence.
- Necessity of Seeking : Despite the egoic nature of seeking, Leo stresses that one must go through the process of seeking to reach the ultimate understanding of reality, likening it to enduring a long journey filled with challenges to arrive at a desired destination.
- Raising Baseline Awareness : Leo observes an increase in his baseline level of awareness, where even in a normal state, he perceives everything as infinite and inevitable due to their existence within absolute infinity.
- Improvements in Meditation : Post-awakening, Leo's meditation practice has improved as the cessation of seeking allows him to sit still and be infinity without searching for answers.
- Inevitability in All Forms : Leo recognizes every possibility, good or evil, as part of absolute infinity and sees complaining or resisting life as pointless and counterproductive.
- Insight into Nonrejection : With the realization that everything is inevitable and part of him, Leo has stopped rejecting and criticizing aspects of reality, aligning his attitude towards acceptance and nonresistance.
- Continued Human Experiences Post-Awakening : Despite his awakening, Leo continues to deal with suffering, triggers, addictions, and emotional responses, acknowledging that enlightenment can have varying degrees and does not necessarily stop all forms of suffering.
- Sexual Energy Post-Awakening : Leo experiences heightened sexual energy which he attributes to feeling more energized and having opened chakras, contrary to some idealized notions of enlightenment diminishing sexual drive.
- Enlightenment as a Non-Simplified Process : Leo advises against oversimplifying the awakening process, as there are different facets to enlightenment, and each individual's experience can vary significantly.
- Feeling of Completeness in Awakening : Leo feels his recent awakening was very complete, covering multiple aspects of existence, while acknowledging there may be room for more profound awakenings in the future.
- Stage of Enlightenment : Leo places himself at stage 5 of enlightenment—'mastering' according to Zen's Ten Ox Herding Pictures—indicating that there is still significant room for growth and deeper experiences.
- Commitment to the Five-MeO-DMT Path : Leo sees Five-MeO-DMT as a highly effective tool for achieving absolute consciousness and intends to continue using it to integrate insights and foster personal growth.
- Reflecting on the effectiveness of 5-MeO-DMT : Leo shares his conviction that 5-MeO-DMT effectively enables profound and immediate experiences of absolute consciousness. He points out that while skeptics may question its validity, suggesting delusion or hallucination, his personal experiences provide him with an undeniable understanding of the absolute.
- Comparison with traditional Zen practices : Leo notes the significant difference in time and effort between traditional Zen practices and the use of 5-MeO-DMT. He acknowledges that despite years of meditation, some Zen masters may not reach the ultimate understanding that 5-MeO-DMT can reveal quickly.
- The journey beyond awakening : Leo conveys that post-awakening, his focus is now on embodying the infinite across all aspects of his life, including his emotions, behavior, and relationships. He realizes that the true work has just begun, and he sees the necessity of basking in stillness for extensive periods.
- The need for mental stillness and resulting practices : He expresses a need to work towards a state of no-mind, as he identifies his conceptual thinking as a major obstacle on his spiritual path. Through 5-MeO-DMT, he has found that the absolute can be experienced without initially quieting the mind, but additional work is required to calm mental activity post-awakening.
- Continuing obstacles and future goals : Leo acknowledges his need for emotional mastery, clearing energy blockages, addressing physical health issues, removing addictions, and practicing healthier living. He emphasizes the significance of developing more compassion towards others as part of his post-awakening growth.
- Plans for further use of 5-MeO-DMT : He intends to continue to use 5-MeO-DMT in small doses for stable experiences, to aid in the integration process. This will be part of ongoing exploration of deeper insights and facets surrounding awakening.
- Enriching his life purpose post-awakening : Leo feels that his awakenings have supercharged his life purpose, spurring him to share insights, write books, create content, and improve his teaching methods. His ultimate goal is to guide others to an understanding of why everything exists as it does.
- Anticipating personal transformation : Looking forward, Leo expects significant personal growth as he seeks to live out the teachings and insights gained from his awakening. He remains open to new experiences and teaching styles, aiming to inspire others through his journey.