How To Get Laid - Part 2 - Outer Game Techniques

The best game looks so effortless and natural it isn't seen as game.

"That's not game. He's just a cool, extroverted guy."

• Field Testing Game Techniques : Leo emphasizes the importance of field testing the game techniques he discusses, as thousands of hours of real-world practice back them. He encourages skepticism and personal experimentation to find out what works.
• Defining 'Game' : Leo clarifies misconceptions by explaining that game is not about trickery or canned lines but about practicing smooth, confident approaches and becoming more emotionally in tune with women.
• Learning Flirtation and Emotionality : A central part of game for men, especially logical thinkers, is learning to flirt and connect emotionally with women, which isn't inherently tied to their professional success but is critical for romantic connections.
• Wit and Verbal Skills : Verbal skills are unfairly critical in first impressions; Leo points out that women often judge men on their ability to converse, necessitating the development of wit and verbal finesse.
• Social Calibration : Game is about being socially calibrated, understanding women's subtle non-verbal cues, and making them feel comfortable quickly—an important step to eliminate awkwardness in initial romantic interactions.
• Handling Logistics : Learning to manage logistical hurdles (like her schedule or social situation) is a significant aspect of game—addressing challenges that appear after basic social skills are mastered.
• Inner Confidence and Authenticity : Building inner confidence and overcoming negative beliefs is crucial. Leo stresses finding an authentic style of expressing romantic interest rather than mimicking others.
• Approach Style Adjustments : Leo discusses the need to adjust one's approach style based on personal attributes like introversion or energy levels and emphasizes the authenticity and congruence of approaches.
• Final Purpose of 'Game' : Eventually, the journey of learning game is about fully expressing one's highest, most confident, experienced self and developing a unique way to share romantic feelings with authenticity and without fear of rejection.
• Expression of Genuine Attraction : The key to a successful and reciprocal romantic interaction lies in confidently expressing genuine attraction, leading to a smooth and natural advancement towards a kiss or further intimacy.
• Naturalness vs. Creepiness : Societal norms unfairly brand those who lack innate social skills as creepy but being charismatic and flirtatious is naturally attractive. Society discourages people from openly practicing these skills, perpetuating the 'creepy' label on those trying to improve.
• Transitioning from 'Creepy' to 'Cool' : The process of becoming more charismatic and adept in social interactions involves practice and conscious effort, despite societal stigma. With time and effort, behavior once seen as awkward becomes second nature and attractive.
• Human Sexuality and Social Conditioning : Human sexuality is deeply rooted in our unconscious, leading many to not take responsibility for improving their sexual and social experiences. Leo advocates for conscious growth and practice in these areas, despite societal judgments.
• Natural Versus Learned Behaviors : Many skills, such as flirtation and conversational abilities, are not inherently natural and require conscious learning and practice, similar to academic subjects in school. Over time, learned behaviors can appear natural and effortless.
• Researching and Exploring Locations for Approaching : Identifying the best places for meeting women within a city is essential. This requires research, visiting areas with potential, understanding the best times to approach, and determining the volume and type of women present.
• Relocation for Improved 'Game' : Moving to a city with better 'game' opportunities can drastically improve dating prospects. Leo encourages taking the plunge despite potential obstacles, as it also benefits personal development.
• Recommended Cities for 'Game' : For individuals in the US, cities like New York, Las Vegas, Miami, Austin, and Los Angeles offer abundant opportunities. Internationally, dense metropolitan areas with active nightlife, like London, are ideal.
• Differences Between Day Game and Night Game : Day game involves sober, socially calibrated approaches in casual settings, while night game offers a high-energy atmosphere, alcohol-induced sociability, and immediate sexual opportunities. Night game is challenging but conducive to learning due to abundant targets.
• Personal Development Through City Change : Relocating can stimulate personal growth by breaking life ruts and exposing individuals to new environments and cultures, enhancing not only dating skills but also general life experiences.
• Attractiveness standards in Day Game : Leo Gura reveals that he has high standards for attractiveness, making the number of women he's willing to approach during the day relatively low. He highlights the rarity of encountering a sufficient number of genuinely attractive women, which presents a challenge in gaining enough experience to become adept at Day Game.
• Direct and genuine approach : He stresses the need for a direct approach to be honest and genuine during Day Game, emphasizing that this type of approach is rare and requires authentic attraction, which he finds uncommon when spending hours at a mall.
• Day versus Night Game benefits : Leo contrasts Day Game and Night Game, explaining that Day Game has fewer approaches as women are not as frequently approached compared to night experiences, potentially leaving a lasting impression when done smoothly and naturally. However, Day Game also offers less opportunity for extended interaction and pulling a girl home, as women are busier and more logical during the day.
• Night Game advantages : The advantages of Night Game include longer hours to interact with the same woman, which provides invaluable experience in flirting and having fun, overall offering more opportunity for sexual encounters compared to Day Game.
• Scanning and attraction assessment : Leo advises men to assess how attracted they are to a woman before approaching, even practicing this skill at busy malls without the intent to approach, which helps hone their internal radar for recognizing a genuine physical attraction.
• Approach execution : Leo provides a step-by-step breakdown of the approach process, starting from scanning, not overthinking, and making a deliberate approach, to firmly getting a woman's attention through strong eye contact, a pause, and a friendly smile before delivering the opener.
• Openers and conversation : He clarifies that the content of the opener is less important than many believe, suggesting a straightforward compliment or stating attraction as effective openers. Leo emphasizes that the key is not the opener itself, but rather keeping the conversation going and leading it in a desired direction.
• Conveying genuine attraction : When approaching a woman, especially during the Day Game, Leo advises conveying a frame of mind of sincere attraction, emphasizing the necessity for authenticity in expressing attraction towards the woman to avoid awkwardness and incongruence.
• Expressing genuine attraction : Be honest and open about the holistic attraction to a woman, using that as part of the conversation starter after a self-introduction.
• Relaxation and ease : Crucial to be relaxed and at ease during approaches to avoid conveying anxiety and fear which can be off-putting.
• Playfulness and happiness : Approach should be undertaken with a happy, playful demeanor, creating a fun and positive frame of mind for the interaction.
• Honesty about intentions : Be forthright about personal feelings and romantic intentions to avoid misunderstandings and establish trust.
• Making observational statements : Use observational statements and informed guesses rather than interview-style questions to engage her emotionally and create a more interesting conversation.
• Cold reading and inferences : Employ cold reading techniques to make inferences about her based on her appearance, attire, or items she carries, and use this to foster playful banter.
• Emotional engagement : Focus on emotional rather than logical engagement by asking more intimate, thought-provoking questions to connect on a deeper level.
• Flirtation without explicitness : Flirt and tease without direct sexual comments, implying interest through subtleties and body language to suggest dating potential.
• Frame of higher value : Adopt the frame that you are of higher value and she would be fortunate to date you, which is conveyed by confident and evaluative interaction rather than fawning over her.
• Evaluating her interests and qualities : Use her interests and qualities, e.g., meditation, to connect or playfully tease, establishing a dynamic where you are the experienced and knowledgeable one.
• Extending conversation duration : Strive to prolong the conversation to build a strong bond, increasing the likelihood that she'll agree to an instant date or offer her phone number.
• Pushing for instant dates : When wrapping up the interaction, try for an immediate coffee or drink to solidify the connection; if not possible, opt for a phone number with the intention of setting up a later date.
• Single status inquiry : Ask early if she is single to determine if pursuing a romantic interest is feasible and avoid wasting time.
• Explicitly confirming availability : Directly asking a woman if she's single early in the conversation can communicate your intentions clearly and save time.
• Prompting to Identify Single Status : Leo recommends asking women early in the conversation if they're single to save time and avoid wasted effort on those who are not available. This straightforward approach prevents misunderstandings and ensures clarity on both sides.
• Conversion to Dating Situation : Leo outlines a structured approach to convert a meeting with a woman into a dating opportunity. This involves suggesting casual meet-ups, like coffee or a drink, and moving together to different venues, which can potentially lead to an invite to the man's house, especially at night.
• Core Game Strategy : The core of a successful game, according to Leo, includes approaching the woman, being playful, clearly expressing a romantic desire to avoid the friend zone, leading her through various casual activities, and ensuring she becomes comfortable following your lead.
• The "Can I Come With You" Strategy : Leo reveals a "magic line" for success in night game: asking "Can I come with you?" in various scenarios. This simple question can facilitate the progression towards more intimate settings by overcoming logistical hurdles, assuming the woman is comfortable and enjoying the company.
• Leadership in Physical Intimacy : Leo stresses that men need to take the initiative in leading interactions toward physical intimacy because women often won't take the responsibility for this progression. Asking "Can I come with you?" is a non-intrusive way to maintain proximity and potentially lead to a sexual encounter.
• Successful Pickup Framework : The process includes a direct approach to grab attention, a simple or even silly opener that reflects confidence and congruency, strong eye contact, facing the woman directly ("squaring up"), and managing the conversation primarily by the man at the outset.
• Post-Opener Conversation Dynamics : After opening, the man should dominate the conversation, initially doing about 95% of the talking to pique her interest. Keeping the conversation going after the opener is essential to engage the woman and demonstrate value.
• Effective Openers : Openers should be natural and need not be elaborate. Different styles of openers can be deployed: straightforward during day game and more experimental and bold during night game, like humorous or provocative questions, which can succeed with the right energy and delivery.
• Conversational Flow Techniques : Leo advocates free-associating in conversations, jumping between topics, making statements and cold reads, and employing playful flirtation without explicitly discussing sex to ensure a man-woman dynamic is established.
• Initiating Physical Touch : Leo advises starting physical contact with non-threatening touches such as shoulder taps or playful pokes when the woman reacts positively, suggesting comfort with physical interaction.
• Calibrated Physical Escalation : Escalation should consider the woman's mood, indicated by her facial expressions—smiles and laughter signal comfort, while a cold look or lack of eye contact signals discomfort. Immediate withdrawal is required if negative signals are received.
• Rapid Night Game Escalation : In night game, once hook point is reached, the physical escalation can proceed quickly, from casual touching to holding hips and more intimate contact, assuming there's continued comfort and implied permission.
• Rapport and Trust Building : After initial attraction, rapport building involves sharing personal stories and interests to establish trust. She must feel comfortable and trust you before considering intimacy.
• Handling Logistics : To potentially advance the interaction towards sex, understanding logistic factors such as her friends' presence, transportation method, and accommodation plans are crucial. Leo insists on logistics questions early in the interaction for effective planning.
• Leading and Movement : Leo emphasizes the need to lead the woman by moving her around the venue to build comfort in following your lead, which can later progress to leaving the venue together.
• Sequential Approach Phases : Leo describes the three phases in the interaction: attraction phase (approach to hook point), rapport phase (establishing trust), and seduction phase (isolating her and increasing sexual arousal).
• Dealing with Resistance : If a woman resists during the seduction phase, it may indicate insufficient rapport, and further rapport building is necessary. Skipping rapport directly to seduction can incur challenges and may not lead to a successful outcome.
• Stages of Attractive Interactions : Leo discusses the stages an interaction goes through - attraction, rapport building, and seduction. He suggests spending sufficient time building rapport to ensure the woman's comfort and trust, which would make her more open to the idea of going home with you.
• Potential Problems with Inverted Phases : Leo shares an experience where skipping the rapport phase led to a failed attempt at taking the woman home. He admits that although sometimes strong immediate attraction can lead straight to seduction, such cases are inconsistent and unreliable for a solid game strategy.
• Trainable Areas for Approaching Women : Leo provides a list of skills for men to work on, such as approaching without excuses, making strong direct approaches, squaring up face-to-face with the woman, maintaining strong eye contact, smiling upon opening, using a firm vocal tone, speaking clearly and slowing down speech and movements, and being relaxed and present in the interaction.
• Becoming Comfortable in High-Energy Environments : Leo stresses the importance of being comfortable in loud, high-energy club environments, especially for introverts, as these places facilitate quick physical escalation.
• Building a Positive Social State : Leo highlights the need to build a fun, social state through continuous approaches, not taking rejections too seriously, and consistently putting oneself in a social mindset for more successful approaches.
• Advantages of Sobriety in Social Settings : Leo supports staying sober during interactions to have more fun, maintain full wits, and save money, noting how sobriety can lead to being more engaging than many others who are consuming alcohol.
• Importance of Conveying Sexual Intent : Leo advises making it clear within the first five minutes of interaction that there is a romantic or sexual interest to prevent being friend-zoned.
• Physical Escalation : Leo discusses spending time learning and practicing physical escalation and becoming comfortable with it quickly, even though it may lead to polarizing outcomes.
• Handling Logistics in Game : Leo emphasizes developing the habit of asking logistics-related questions to understand the woman's situation better and plan the interaction accordingly.
• Flirting and Conversational Stamina : Leo mentions the importance of learning to flirt, make small talk, and intuitively know how not to run out of things to say to keep the interaction going without awkward silences.
• Engaging Conversation Techniques : Leo advises avoiding boring questions and instead making observational statements or "cold readings" to create dynamic conversations.
• Emotional Engagement Over Logic : To deepen the connection, Leo suggests expressing emotions, including negative ones, to show genuineness and avoid dull, logical exchanges.
• Playful Exaggeration and Drama : Exaggerating emotions playfully can make the interaction more interesting and enjoyable, suggesting the use of hyperbolic reactions during conversations.
• Challenging Her and Flirting : Encouraging healthy banter by challenging her statements in a teasing, flirtatious manner rather than agreeing with everything she says.
• Talking About Oneself : Leo encourages introverts to share about themselves, from mundane daily activities to personal dreams, to fill conversational space and let the woman get to know them better.
• Developing Charisma : Recommends practicing expressiveness using facial gestures, voice modulation, and hand movements, and seeking resources to improve charisma.
• Improvisation and Free Association : Practicing free association in conversations can lead to a vast array of interesting topics and keeps the dialogue engaging and unpredictable.
• Self-Deprecating Humor : Suggests using self-deprecating humor instead of bragging to create a more relaxed and humble persona that can attract women.
• Avoiding Explicit Sexual Comments : Advises against making sexually explicit comments as it tends to repel women and does not contribute positively to the conversation.
• Not Bragging : Emphasizing that one should not try to impress her with material possessions or achievements, instead focusing on genuine interactions.
• Dealing With Her Friends : Stresses the need to befriend and compliment the woman's friends, as their impression of you can influence the woman's willingness to spend time with you.
• Staying in the Set to the End : Leo discusses the importance of staying engaged in the conversation with a woman until the very end, regardless of where she goes, rather than leaving prematurely.
• Practicing Closing Techniques : Getting comfortable with asking for a woman's phone number smoothly and confidently, and pushing for instant dates, especially during day game.
• Leading and Moving Around : Highlights the significance of leading the interaction in different locations to make her comfortable with your presence and help build a connection.
• Managing Mood and Self-Doubt : Suggests learning to manage one's mood and self-doubt effectively, maintaining positivity even during personal challenges or dry spells in dating.
• Building Rapport and Intimacy : Suggests taking the time to build rapport and intimacy by sharing life stories and actively engaging in learning about the woman's experiences.
• Authentic Storytelling : Recommends having authentic, character-revealing personal stories ready to share to draw the woman into the conversation and establish trust.
• Handling 'Shit Tests' : Understanding how to respond to 'shit tests' aimed at gauging the authenticity of one's confidence and character, using grounding and unreactive behavior.
• Approaching with Boldness : Leo describes a personal anecdote where he overcame hesitation and approached a highly attractive woman at a casual dining establishment by sitting down at her table and speaking about himself, engaging her in conversation despite the unorthodox method.
• Handling Tests of Confidence : He narrates how the woman tested his confidence by claiming to be a 'ladyboy' to see if he would remain unfazed. Leo passed this test by maintaining his composure and playing along with humor, demonstrating stability and thus increasing her attraction and comfort.
• Dealing with Mixed Signals and Token Resistance : Leo explains that women may give mixed signals or display token resistance as part of the social dynamic of dating. This includes non-verbal cues that can often be misunderstood as rejections when, in reality, they can represent a momentary hesitation or a test.
• Understanding Women's Social Concerns : He discusses how women often have to balance their desire for intimacy with societal perceptions and judgments. Consequently, women may offer various excuses to justify their decisions, which can sometimes be deciphered as not entirely truthful, necessitating experience to discern.
• Navigating Direct Honesty in Attraction : Leo speaks about the paradox where men are inclined towards straightforward communication regarding their attraction, while societal norms compel both genders to engage in a less direct, "game-playing" approach.
• Learning Text Game and Date Setup : He mentions that effective communication skills extend to texting and organizing dates, suggesting that these areas also require learning and strategy.
• Effective Complimenting : When complimenting women, Leo advises focusing on personality, style, or spirit, rather than just physical looks, as it can seem disingenuous and overly straightforward.
• Expressing Attraction and Making Her Feel Special : He highlights the importance of understanding what particular traits in a woman appeal to you and communicating why she is special to you, which can significantly impact her willingness to proceed forward with intimacy.
• Dating Skill Fundamentals for Newcomers : Leo provides a succinct list of fundamental actions for beginners to improve their dating game, which includes finding suitable locations for approaches, consistent practice in overcoming approach anxiety, and always attempting to leave an interaction with a positive outcome such as an insta-date or a phone number.
• Approach Anxiety Mitigation : The only way to overcome approach anxiety is through consistent, repeated practice. Regardless of the outcome of each approach, this practice helps to build confidence and reduce the fear associated with initiating conversations.
• Perseverance and Practice in Approach : Leo Gura highlights that even with thousands of approaches under his belt, approach anxiety still persists; it diminishes not by disappearance, but by learning to disregard it and take action despite fear.
• Handling Rejection and Emotional Resilience : Rejections are often benign but can accumulate and impact emotions negatively, leading to self-doubt. It's important to understand that bad nights are part of the process and growth comes from persevering through these challenges.
• Expect Varied Reactions from Women : One-third of women may dislike a man's personality or approach, one-third may be neutral, and the remaining third may show interest. This ratio underscores the importance of being polarizing and making one's intentions clear to filter genuine interest.
• Focusing on Positive Interactions : Leo advises concentrating on the women who respond positively and show interest, rather than dwelling on the rejections, to maintain self-esteem and recognize potential successes had logistics permitted.
• Goal of Approaching Women : The aim should not be universal appeal but rather to attract a select few women strongly by being polarizing and showcasing one's authentic personality.
• Learning from Failures : Leo encourages individuals to view failure as a learning tool and to commit to making a significant number of approaches (at least a thousand) before considering quitting.
• Value of Good Wingmen : Wingmen are fundamental for moral support and camaraderie in game endeavors, helping to keep spirits high regardless of individual physical interaction outcomes.
• Cycle of Bad and Good Nights : The routine of game can involve harsh emotional nights, but the key is persistence and remembering that following a bad night often leads to better results as it motivates one to strive harder.
• Keeping a Larger Vision : Leo underscores the importance of having broader goals beyond nocturnal success—self-growth, charisma, social skills—that sustain commitment and provide context for the night-to-night experiences.
• Strategies for Overcoming Social Anxiety : For those with severe shyness, Leo suggests starting with basic social interactions like chatting to people in low-stress environments, joining interest groups, and observing experienced friends to build foundational social skills.
• Consistency and Monthly Progress : Regular practice is essential, with self-improvement being more apparent on a month-to-month basis rather than daily, as variability can affect short-term perceptions.
• Expectations for Results : Based on his own experience, Leo indicates that it could take around 450 approaches to see first sexual results and up to 5 to 10 thousand to achieve consistent success. He recommends a structured and committed schedule for practice to accumulate the necessary experience.
• Consistency in Approaching : Leo recommends aiming for 20 approaches three nights a week, totaling nearly 3,000 approaches in a year as a part of the practice regime to develop game and increase self-confidence.
• Results of Persistent Practice : After a year of consistent practice, which may yield 3 to 10 intimate encounters from 3,000 approaches, practitioners should see shattered limiting beliefs and a better understanding of their own deficiencies in game.
• Path to Mastery : Serious consistency and results in game tend to develop after about 10,000 approaches, although reaching this milestone is challenging and requires immense effort.
• Avoiding Pickup Theory Overload : Leo warns against spending too much time absorbing pickup theory online, advises practical experience based on his series, and suggests starting to practice with the information given.
• Advocating Sobriety During Game : He recommends avoiding alcohol to maintain health, save money, and improve game retention, suggesting that one can have more fun while sober.
• Embracing the Learning Process : Instead of wishing for an easier process, Leo encourages embracing the challenging learning curve, analyzing every night's interactions to refine game techniques and make accurate distinctions.
• Working on One Sticking Point at a Time : Focus on improving one particular skill like eye contact, physical escalation, or humor each night or over weeks, iterating until achieving proficiency.
• Attraction Phase vs. Relationship Maintenance : Distinguishes between the attraction phase, from meeting up to the first sexual encounter, and the dynamics of maintaining a relationship, which requires different approaches and strategies.
• Importance of Emotions in Attraction : Emphasizes that stimulating a woman's emotions is essential for attraction because women base the decision to engage intimately on emotion rather than logic.
• Aligning Game with Life Purpose : Leo suggests working on finding one’s life purpose concurrently with improving dating skills, explaining that a man with a clear purpose is inherently attractive to women.
• Life Purpose Course Recommendation : Recommends his Life Purpose Course for aligning one’s career and life goals with their purpose, stressing that having a life purpose is attractive and provides motivation in various life aspects.